What if I poured myself into a tight black Lululemon and then walked the dog? What would people think?

Laugh laugh ridiculous! Does he not know who he is??? He needs to hang a mirror by the front door, or near the dog’s dish!

I don’t know who I am anymore. Maybe I am a 34 year-old mother of two getting in shape after the last baby. Maybe I’m a well dressed older Jewish guy. Maybe I’m young, black and dredded. Maybe I want to be.

Maybe I’m walking down a hall, like in a hotel. Maybe there’s a window at the end of it. Maybe a pale woman with orange hair is floating just beyond the glass. Maybe I’ll open the window to jump out expecting to be caught. Maybe there are still doors open to me in the hallway.

Maybe there’s not even a dog and what there is… is a parking lot near a train yard.